Whatever You Choose to Focus On ... No Regrets?!

I recently turned down the opportunity to go to a great networking event. I knew the potential for opportunity was passing me by. These contacts could have amounted to terrific connections and allies for many years to come. I was running on empty, completely burnt and afraid I would not be able to maximize the event. I chose my health over the event.

Naturally what did I do the entire next day? Thought about the event I missed instead of focusing on what I needed to do that day. I ended up missing out doubly and being miserable.

I'm sure I made the wise decision initially but then should have fully embraced that decision with no regrets. What's done is done. You can't change the past. Why dwell on it?

On closer look though, which all that dwelling eventually brought me to, a couple of things were happening:
#1: The things I had been doing in my day to day life for the week prior to the event were very draining ... probably not the things I should have been focusing on if I had been living and working truly on purpose.
#2: Deep in my heart I felt my values were not in alignment with the person who invited me to the event. When first asked, I said "yes" to the event as it seemed like the right place to be, but my sub-conscious was churning away calculating all the ways I may need to insulate myself from this individual at the event.

Wow!

So apparently I was not practicing what I preach. I realized a clear and simple truth:

If you cannot at that moment be fully engaged and on purpose in your decision making, there is an internal conflict regarding that decision and your core values.

In plain english, the event was the place I should have been. It was the right thing for me to be at and my brain and heart knew it. I had compromised my core values all week and I did not have the forsight to attempt to attend the event WITHOUT the person who is contrary to my core values; therefore, I missed out. So yes, the gurus of "Go fully into the now and embrace it" are correct on the surface (why put yourself through additional pain and agony), but wrong overall. By emptying your mind you allow fluff to invade that teaches you nothing, instead of growing from the experience.

My suggestion? Be fully aware of your inherent strengths and your core values which are not likely to change in a lifetime. If you are not living and working in a way that honours your core values, you will disengage, lose focus, be inconsistent, lack credibility and decrease your self esteem. Eventually you will fail and blame yourself over and over again, which is completely counter-productive. Instead, know yourself and be your brand.

To do this summer:
1) Visit CRG and complete the Values Preference Indicator. This is $25 online. Print based is available for $20 plus shipping.


Online Values Preference Indicator (VPI)

2) Read through the entire report, comparing your initial list of your perceived values with your actual core values. Make special note of the values that moved up into your core list. These are the ones you have NOT been honouring. Note the ones that dropped out of your core list. These are someone elses values you adopted and honoured, thinking they were truly you.

3) Note the bottom three values on your final core value list. Gauge the way you feel about them and about people who hold these as their top core values. Realize this is the way you unconsciously engage with these people and why you may lack credibility in their eyes. Values are not right or wrong, they just are. They are set by the time you are twelve and not likely to change in a lifetime. YOU WILL NOT CHANGE THEM BY WITHOLDING HONOURING THEIR VALUES. You will effect their perception of you ... and not in a good way.

4) Make your plan of action to save at the end of the online report for future reference (or write them on your print based report). Refer to this action plan WEEKLY or even DAILY throughout the summer AND whenever you are making a decision you are the least bit hesitant over.

5) Get rid of your "NOW" guru books and get real, get grounded and get fully engaged and on purpose! Pain is there for a reason. It is telling you something is wrong with your body, mind or heart. Listen to the pain and find the actual source, then stop doing what's causing the pain! It's just that simple ... Time consuming? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely!

Have a fully on purpose summer!

Stop the World! I need to Catch UP!!!!

Technology ... friend and foe, gift and curse, wonder and horror, time saver ... you get the idea. In this crazy world of information overload at the speed of light, who has TIME to learn how to create their own website, place new postings and take advantage of all the very cool resources available?

The pendulum of the Do-It-Yourself syndrome is swinging fast and hard in the opposite direction. Today's solo entrepreneurs are beginning to realize the true value of partnerships. They are not only farming out their accounting, but are now hiring virtual assistants, web site creators and optimizers, and other very targeted services they stumble across.

As synergistic as entrepreneurs like to think they are, they are realizing it truly pays to focus on their strengths and leave the administrivia and details to those who are designed to focus on administrivia and details.

I hear you saying:
"But I NEED to take care of these things!"
"No one else knows how to do this properly."
"I don't have the cash flow to hire an assistant."

"My situation is completely different."

Stop! Breathe.

1) Take your index and third finger.

2) Place them on your neck and feel your pulse.

3) Find the pulse in your wrist.

4) Compare the two results.

The pulse in your neck is strong and easier to find, isn't it? The pulse in your wrist is weaker and easy to lose, right?

The further you stray from your strengths (your heart), the weaker others will find you.

Who decides if you are credible or not? Others! You are your brand! If you are not credible, your brand or image will forever paint a negative image in the minds of others. How much effort would it take to restore that damaged credibility? What is your credibility worth to you?

Steps to take this month:

1. Complete an Entrepreneurial Style and Success indicator (see last month's blog).
2. Catalogue all your strengths you PREFER to focus on (make you happiest).
3. Create a list of duties you are currently doing that have nothing to do with your strengths.
4. Place the name of a company or type of service beside each of the items in number 3.
5. Start getting quotes from all you've listed in number 4.
6. HIRE people or services to make your life simpler and to free you to do the things you know, love and do best.
   
   Note: continue to add to your list in number 4 throughout the year. You will be amazed at how much better your worklife flows when you surround yourself with the right help.

Happy delegating!

-Carol-