Choose Your Enemies Wisely

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on. - Joseph Heller

We are all brought up to believe that we should be friends with everyone. If we have enemies, there must be something wrong with us. Guess what? We all have enemies, we just don't realize it.

One of the definitions of "enemy" is "Something harmful or deadly" - Mirriam-Webster Disctionary

Think for a moment about someone you have met who you quickly distrusted.

Get a very clear picture of that moment when your inner voice said "Careful! This person could hurt you! Proceed with caution. Avoid if possible. Smile and pretend nothing is wrong."

Remember?

That person was not your friend. You knew instinctively that person would bring you down if you got too close, eat up your time and energy and leave you with little or nothing to show. That person was NOT a wise investment for you.

• Recognize the enemy.
  
• Proceed with caution.
  
• Avoid if possible.
  
• Smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
  
• Carry on being who you are and doing what you do best.

Now, if you are like me, you often ignore your inner voice. After all, you would not want anyone to judge you this way without giving you a chance to prove yourself. Here's where most people stall, losing time, energy and ... well, let's face reality ... money.

Recognize that any effort you have already spent on these people is now a "sunk cost".

Whether in business, career, friendship or especially a romantic relationship, it is difficult to face the fact that our efforts have been wasted and the longer we invest our energy into this person, the more of ourselves we will waste. While it may seem cold, successful people master the ability to recognize "sunk costs" quickly and let them go.

If you want everyone to like you, this is a very difficult thing to do. Here's a different perspective I have discovered that works for me:

1. You have your own unique set of VALUES. To be authentic and give your greatest strengths to the world, you must remain true and honour your values in everything you do.
2. If someone distracts you from your true Vision and Mission in life, it is up to YOU to get yourself back on track.
3. If this person shows ANY jealousy or negativity toward your Values, Vision or Mission, this person is an enemy to your future growth, your current productivity and your life's purpose. You owe it to yourself, and all those you can help, to distance yourself from that person, write off the "sunk costs" and move ahead with purpose.
   

You don't know your specific Values? You have not yet created a Vision and a Mission for yourself? This is like heading across the country for a road trip without a map. You may have some great adventures, but:

• you will be distracted by every road sign you see,
  
• you will take longer to make decisions,
  
• you will have more regrets and waste in your life.

If you are tired of being tossed around in life and want to be as effective as possible, take the Values Preference Indicator.

1. Know your top core values and find way to honour them in your life.
   
2. Understand what you de-value (lowest on your list), gauge your reactions to these values and understand that is the same reaction you have to those who place those values at the top of their own list.
   
3. Recognize that there will be people in this life who will not help you but will hinder your growth and direction.

• Recognize the enemy.
  
• Proceed with caution.
  
• Avoid if possible.
  
• Smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
  
• Carry on being who you are and doing what you do best.

You owe it to you!

What Truly Motivates Employees? (It's not what you think!)

I've always wondered why simple monetary incentives only seemed to work on the lucky few, but demotivated so many more.

I've actually seen sales contests within organizations completely alienate individuals. These are SALES people! They are SUPPOSED to be driven by cash rewards, yet the whole idea of dialing for dollars in a day to win the cash prize left them hating their jobs, their colleagues and their lives.

Here's a brilliant video that finally reveals the shocking truth. My question is, if they had these studies and professionals worldwide found the same results, why wasn't this information made headline news?

• Why are we still operating on archaic reward principles?

• Why are we STILL not allowing our innovators - our staff - come up with ways of making the company better for our clients and colleagues and put these ideas into action?
• Why are we still holding their noses to methods and principles that do not motivate them and expecting them to produce the same results in a completely different economy?

Enjoy this thought provoking video!

If you weren't doing what you're doing, what would you be doing?

Every time I hear the above question, I can actually feel my brain short circuit.

Thoughts rush in, waving madly, yelling "Pick me! Pick me!"

I envy the people who can answer this question clearly, directly and in detail. To those people I want to say That sounds fantastic! What are you waiting for???

Then I have to step back and check myself.

The running theme of all my dreams involves influencing people to move in positive directions. That sounds fantastic. What am I waiting for???

We all face the same dilemma, whether our dreams are clearly defined or not:

Let go of what we know to pursue a dream or ideal life for ourselves

= free-fall from a suspension bridge and hope for a safe landing on better ground ...

possible, but so are a number of other less happy endings.

"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." - Earl of Beaconsfield

A clearly defined goal that fits our values, personal style and strengths can help us automatically make thousands of tiny decisions minute-by-minute, day-by day that bring our reality closer to our dreams. Some call this the law of attraction. I call it a healthy, fully functioning brain.

After a while, that feared free-fall into the unknown becomes a purposeful and well prepared parachute to a visible paradise.

Ask yourself these 7 questions:

1. What are your Core Values?
2. What is your true preferred Personal Style?
3. What are your strengths you want to use on a daily basis?
4. What skills do you want to acquire to compliment the strengths you prefer to use?
5. What are all the things you would want to do if you weren't doing what you're doing?
6. Working backwards from where you want to be to where you are, what action steps, information and resources are needed to do what you really want to do?
7. What are you willing and able to act on right NOW? If not now, WHEN?

Companies make Mission and Vision statements. Create your own Vision and Mission statements honouring your true Core Values, Style and Strengths. Be the CEO of your life. Create clarity and direction. Work ON your life, rather than IN it.

Most of all, enjoy the ride and make true friends and lasting contributions along the way!

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Teach a Man To Fish

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for life."

- Chinese Proverb

I’m a huge fan of the “Pay It Forward” concept. Yes, I have been called a Pollyanna—my results on the Personal Style Indicator back that up—but I don’t believe I have my head in the sand. No matter who we are, how we’re wired, or what we do for a living, each of us in our own way can effect real change in the world.

How can one person change the world?

It’s simple.

You can’t change people, but you CAN empower them to improve their own lives, and equip them to reach out and help others.

Just a simple shift in perception and approach can

• make a huge difference in a relationship,
• affect an entire team,
  
• influence the culture of an organization,
  
• make an impact on a community,
  
• awaken a nation, and
  
• help spread change throughout the world.

You don’t believe me?

Believe history.

Throughout the ages, people on purpose did not take the easy road. Dogged and determined, they faithfully pursued what they believed to be important—not just for them, but for humankind.

Can you imagine our world today if . . .

• a group of Quakers in Delaware had kept their slaves to remain more profitable and had not signed a petition against slavery in 1786?
• Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith went back to drinking and never started a word-of-mouth support group for recovering Alcoholics in 1935?
• the Wright Brothers decided flight was impossible, went ahead with other inventions, and never created the three-axis control still used in flying machines today?
• everyone with means during The Great Depression looked after his or her own situation and no one stepped up to create the first soup kitchen?
• Alexander Fleming, like others before him, did not persist with his quest to discover penicillin or spend 12 years seeking a chemist to make a stable form for mass production?
• Mother Teresa opted for a secure, “normal” life for herself?
• Martin Luther prudently put his career first and did not challenge the policies of the Holy Roman Empire?
• you did not choose to help people make positive change in their lives?

The truth is all change starts with one person willing to act on an idea.

Lasting change happens when that action strikes a chord with people who are ready and willing to get involved. Mentoring starts, methods spark to life, word-of-mouth spreads, people are inspired, and the course of history is changed.

Never underestimate the ripple effect of your perceptions and actions. You may not discover a medical cure, start a reformation, invent a new method of transportation, or save countless people from starvation, but you may help change a life that helps change other lives that help change more lives.

Points to Ponder This Month
• What have you learned in life that has changed the way you perceive and treat people?
• How has the way you treat people affected your perception of yourself?
• What 3 things can you can do this month to “Teach a man to fish” or help others help themselves?

Blogging With Credibility

Stop the NOISE!

So many people have opinions they want to voice when crisis strikes close to home, at election time and ... well ... when everyone else is voicing their opinions.

Let's think about this for a moment.

• Say you openly share your personal political views with a potential client you've been wooing for months. Say your favourite party wins and then makes a mess of the system ... in the eyes of that potential client, who asks himself "What idiots voted this government in anyway?" ... and remembers you ... as the idiot? Or ... your party does NOT get in power and the party who does makes wise and prudent decisions and gains popularity ... and you change your opinion ... Unless you make a living from your political opinions, keep politics out of your personal brand!

• In times of personal crisis are you a completely rational person? Or later, when someone calls you on a bad decision you made, do you say "I was going through a crisis at the time."?People can build a solid reputation over a lifetime and completely destroy their credibility with half their audience in a paragraph.

King Solomon, the wisest king in history, left us these words:

• "A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness" Pr 12:23 and

• "He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." Pr 17:27-28

In a time when so many people have so many things to say, it's hard to hear what's right. Here's what we do know:

• The sun will rise tomorrow.
• This too shall pass.
• People's words - written and spoken - are permanent. They will either be judged as fools or considered right.
• Those who do not panic and offer advice and opinions but forge ahead, keeping their lives and businesses credible and useful will be recognized, respected and trusted.

Please, if you have opinions you are compelled to share:

1. Look at your vision and mission statements.
2. Review your values.
3. Make sure that everything you say reflects these things.
   

• If it doesn't it is not in the best interests of you or your organization to express these opinions.
• If it will not help to better establish your brand and there's a possibility of hurting your brand, don't do it.

Write your opinions in a journal which you can publish years from now ... if it turns out your opinions proved correct. In the meantime, stay grounded, stay on purpose, know yourself and be your brand.

How Did I Get Here?

If that title made you sing a Talking Heads song, you're as old as me.

The concepts suggested in the song's words "Letting the days go by ..." and "Same as it ever was ..." are tragically all too real for most of today's society. The character in the song wakes up in a world he's created and become trapped by while sleepwalking through life.

In careers, we see this happen when people follow convenience, jobs offered by well-meaning relatives or friends and a need for a paycheque. We see this in people setting goals that are not in line with their passions, strengths and purpose.

Where Do I Go From Here?

If you've been at that crossroad described above, you know you really have three choices:

1. Go back to your familiar sleepwalking;
2. Go to sleep somewhere else thinking the new environment will make a difference; or
3. Get out of bed, take a good look in the mirror and start working on a purposeful life!!!

#3 is exhausting, but well worth the journey and does not alienate those who have grown to love and depend on you. As entrepreneurs #3 is vital to your ultimate success or all you've grown will dissolve "... into the blue again after the money's gone ..."

A good start to this journey is "the mirror" - a clearer picture of who you are, your inherent strengths, how you show up day to day and your true core values. You can sift through feedback from those who know you, engage the help of a life coach or psychologist, or take a few self-directed assessments. I recommend the triple-threat:

1. Start with the assessments
2. Discuss your self-discovery with those closest to you and engage their feedback
3. Round it out with targeted life coaching

Two self-scoring self-interpreted assessments I highly recommend are:

The Online Personal Style Indicator (PSI) and the Online Values Preference Indicator (VPI)

Both hold the mirror up at different angles, and also teach you how to look at others in a whole new way! There are many life coaches available, each with a different background or focus. There are many ways to find a coach in your area. Talk to other professionals you respect and see if any of them have a coach they would recommend to you. There are coaches who work over the phone as well.

Life is a journey, not a destination. The day we stop growing and learning how to be the best possible version of ourselves is the day we stop inspiring others ... and the day we begin to stop mattering to anyone but ourselves. What a sad day that is.