The awkwardness of NEW

There is something energizing, inspiring ... and downright clumsy about starting a new venture. Nothing is solid. Everything is shifting.Ideas and opportunities are everywhere. It's so easy to doubt yourself, become distracted from your purpose and start pedaling backwards.

During my turn to share my wins, failures and asks, I explained to my Success Buddies group that I have been busy procrastinating. I am SOOOO busy I do not have time to do what I really need to do - get in front of decision makers of the companies who need my help.

There's plenty of busy work to be done - website, social media updates, networking events, planning marketing campaigns, arranging signage, creating more product, researching ... yes, those will pay off in the future, but to be sustainable, I need to focus on what is closest to the almighty dollar. I need to generate sales!

I see why most small business start-ups fail. It's easy to get caught in a rut of busy-ness and lose sight of the important priorities ... which will turn into urgent ones the longer we avoid them.

I know this stuff. I teach leaders of companies how to manage their subordinates around this stuff (see my latest GetThrival blog on all the steps of goal setting). Somehow helping myself around this stuff is much harder than helping others. But that's true with most things.

• It's easier to promote others than it is to promote yourself.
• It's easier to see what others need to change, stop or do than it is to see your own needs.
• It's easier to help someone else plan a path to success than it is to plan your own path.

Starting a business is always tricky to budget. We cut funding for things that would take us further faster, like hiring help. We hide the fact that we're a struggling start-up from other business people because we fear they will judge us, not buy from us and not recommend us to others.

Here's what I believe. If you are authentic, if you have a clear purpose and have passion for that purpose, if you have focused on and really know something others don't have time to study and if you are ready and willing to share that knowledge with others to help make their business or personal life better, being a start-up does not matter. People will promote you. They will want to see you succeed. They will capture your passion and vision and want to pass you on to the connections who can help you the most.

Fellow entrepreneurs, when you find yourself buried in busy-work to avoid getting out there and making sales:

1. Ask yourself what you are afraid of. 
2. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if you go out and talk to the people who will decide to purchase from you. 
3. Know the worst. Prepare yourself on how to handle it. 
4. Think of the BEST things that could happen. Brainstorm on all the possibilities. 
5. Prepare yourself  on how to handle these great things.

Do these 5 steps. Do them every time you catch yourself doing less of what is going to fill your bank account and more of what is simply "busy" work. Contact fellow entrepreneurs and do these steps together for each others' businesses. Do whatever it takes to get back on a solid path to success!

Choose Your Enemies Wisely

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on. - Joseph Heller

We are all brought up to believe that we should be friends with everyone. If we have enemies, there must be something wrong with us. Guess what? We all have enemies, we just don't realize it.

One of the definitions of "enemy" is "Something harmful or deadly" - Mirriam-Webster Disctionary

Think for a moment about someone you have met who you quickly distrusted.

Get a very clear picture of that moment when your inner voice said "Careful! This person could hurt you! Proceed with caution. Avoid if possible. Smile and pretend nothing is wrong."

Remember?

That person was not your friend. You knew instinctively that person would bring you down if you got too close, eat up your time and energy and leave you with little or nothing to show. That person was NOT a wise investment for you.

• Recognize the enemy.
  
• Proceed with caution.
  
• Avoid if possible.
  
• Smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
  
• Carry on being who you are and doing what you do best.

Now, if you are like me, you often ignore your inner voice. After all, you would not want anyone to judge you this way without giving you a chance to prove yourself. Here's where most people stall, losing time, energy and ... well, let's face reality ... money.

Recognize that any effort you have already spent on these people is now a "sunk cost".

Whether in business, career, friendship or especially a romantic relationship, it is difficult to face the fact that our efforts have been wasted and the longer we invest our energy into this person, the more of ourselves we will waste. While it may seem cold, successful people master the ability to recognize "sunk costs" quickly and let them go.

If you want everyone to like you, this is a very difficult thing to do. Here's a different perspective I have discovered that works for me:

1. You have your own unique set of VALUES. To be authentic and give your greatest strengths to the world, you must remain true and honour your values in everything you do.
2. If someone distracts you from your true Vision and Mission in life, it is up to YOU to get yourself back on track.
3. If this person shows ANY jealousy or negativity toward your Values, Vision or Mission, this person is an enemy to your future growth, your current productivity and your life's purpose. You owe it to yourself, and all those you can help, to distance yourself from that person, write off the "sunk costs" and move ahead with purpose.
   

You don't know your specific Values? You have not yet created a Vision and a Mission for yourself? This is like heading across the country for a road trip without a map. You may have some great adventures, but:

• you will be distracted by every road sign you see,
  
• you will take longer to make decisions,
  
• you will have more regrets and waste in your life.

If you are tired of being tossed around in life and want to be as effective as possible, take the Values Preference Indicator.

1. Know your top core values and find way to honour them in your life.
   
2. Understand what you de-value (lowest on your list), gauge your reactions to these values and understand that is the same reaction you have to those who place those values at the top of their own list.
   
3. Recognize that there will be people in this life who will not help you but will hinder your growth and direction.

• Recognize the enemy.
  
• Proceed with caution.
  
• Avoid if possible.
  
• Smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
  
• Carry on being who you are and doing what you do best.

You owe it to you!

What's Your 90-Day Plan?

• Are you twisting in the wind?
• Are you reacting instead of acting with intention and purpose?
• Do you sit, exhausted and confused, at the end of your day, wondering what this all means and when it’s going to end?

If you don’t relate to those images, chances are you know someone who does.

It’s hard to plan ahead right now. The world is changing moment to moment. (View this clip“Did You Know?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY) The floor has fallen out from under many of the approaches that have always worked. Even some companies and individuals who have money are cutting back on their spending, postponing plans, and taking a “wait and see” approach to buying items that are already in their budget.

Now is your perfect opportunity!

I know what you’re thinking—"Carol’s on glue!"

Stay with me here.

We are living in a world of No and Not Right Now. Many clients and prospects are stressed and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d, doing more for less and completely unsure of the future. They say they don’t want to talk right now.

If you leave your clients and prospects alone at this time,
you are making a HUGE mistake!

Your clients actually DO want to talk to you.
They do NOT want to be SOLD and they do NOT want to WASTE your time or their own.

This is a gigantic opportunity to build lasting mutual trust that will pay off for you and your clients in future—and with their referrals, too!

With whom do YOU want to do business?
• People you know, like, and trust.

How do you feel about people who do things like:
• Drop off a card or note of encouragement to you?
• Take a few moments to say “Hi”—personally or by phone or email?
• Clip and email an article or something that is relevant to you and your clients?
• Connect someone to you who can help you or your business?
• Invest a bit of their precious time to let you know they care about YOU—not just the money you spend with them?

Right now, with every other corporation, business, and individual scrambling to focus on sales and marketing to the people who are still spending, you need to create your 90-day Action Plan to:
• retain the clients you already have;
• ensure your prospects stay interested in you for the future;
• establish great word-of-mouth referrals; and
• DIFFERENTIATE YOURSELF FROM THE COMPETITION!

You can set yourself apart—as a person or a company that truly cares and is willing to take the time to get to know your clients and prospects.

What happens when you are perceived to be different from everyone else out there?

Price becomes an afterthought.

Clients may try to bring down your price, but they’ll connect with you and be willing to consider your reasons for not dropping your price.

“But I need some contracts and sales RIGHT NOW!” you say.

Okay.

These steps will help you build current AND future business within the next 90 days.

Step 1: Always ask your clients and future clients to refer you to people who need what you have to offer. If you are genuine and your clients and future clients like you and trust you, they will LOVE to recommend your services to someone who can help you succeed. Why? It’s a very nice thing to do and it will lighten their load of nonpurchasers’ guilt.

Step 2: Do a fantastic job of following up with those leads. Make the people who recommended you look like heroes! You will be the first person they call when they are in a position to use what you have to offer!

Remember Carol's Three Customer Building Commandments.

1. Woo thy prospect constantly and genuinely.
2. Love thy customer as thyself.
3. Ask for referrals and ye shall receive.

What’s in your Action Plan for the next 90 days?

Becoming an Oak Among Squash

A leadership professor once asked his students: “Which would you rather be: a squash or an oak?”

The question confused students. They didn’t understand the connection to leadership.

“A squash,” he explained, “grows quickly from a seed, weathers the summer, but dies in inclement winter weather because it has no root system. An oak, on the other hand, withstands every storm and all weather patterns because of its root system. It is deeply embedded in the earth.”


So many comparisons leap into my mind:

• get rich quick (squash) vs. follow a plan that matches your strengths and passions (oak)
• brown nose (squash) vs. maintaining credibility and honesty in all your dealings (oak)
• push others down to boost self up (squash) vs. boosting others up and growing to new heights (oak)
• slap it together and get it done (squash) vs. do it well and let your name stand behind it (oak)
• look busy (squash) vs. do all you can do to the best of your ability all the time (oak)

I`m sure you can think of a few yourself ...


When it comes to leadership I get a definite picture of these two plants:

Squash:
You know that leader who offers no plan, no vision, no direction, expects people to just get to work. So staff go ahead with life and create ideas or needed initiatives but, because they are not the leader of other departments, there is no togetherness or overall plan across the company. They begin to have petty arguments, disrespect and distrust.

It gets worse. Typically the leader swoops in and micromanages from above after the work is done ... or worse, does the brush off of "I just would have expected you to do that. It's part of your job." Ooooh the frustration of the person trying to do the work (or the guess-work)!!

Oak:
This is the leader who aligns staff with their strengths and purpose, gives them an overall plan, budget, vision, mission and benchmarks that are reasonable, especially in challenging conditions and then empowers staff to fulfill their purpose, continuing to facilitate positive and frequent communication, flow of ideas, encouragement for effort and guidance mid-stream where guidance is needed.

Here's one I would add which you might recognize ...

Potato:
The leader who has a solitary plan which few others know. All ideas only sprout from that individual and no communication is requested or given. Staff are just expected to deal with the sprouts, wherever they pop up. In fact, no sprout may appear and staff are not to question or speculate about what's happening.

That leader is immovable, inaccessible and ... well ... no fun! I have a theory that he/she does not share the plan because he/she doesn't want to be committed to it and then have to say "I was wrong." (So far it's a theory because these people will NEVER tell me!)


Being a leader in your business, organization, family, etc. requires:

• incredible communication skills,
• solid mentoring or counseling ability,
• unwavering self-management,
• well developed problem-management skills,
• ability to consult others and to suspend inherent behaviours that are causing communication or trust issues ... which goes back to self-management.

If it sounds super-human, it is!
Are you up for it?

Being a leader is no different from being a sales person. You are selling your staff on your ability to lead the company and ensure their future daily.

Who do people buy from?

• Those the KNOW, LIKE and TRUST

What breaks down trust besides outright lies?

• Ambiguity (vagueness, uncertainty, haziness)

Ambiguity leaves too much to the discretion of the one being lead. That person can either do nothing and be squawked at, or do something and be micromanaged ... and squawked at.

That squawking has it`s own hazzards ...

"... out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." - Matthew 12:34B, the Bible

What you say and do can and WILL be held against you. Your communication - verbal AND non-verbal shows your staff where your head is at ... and they are always watching...

Negative squawking or the cold brush off and avoidance will create uncertainty, self-doubt, anxiety, anger and bitterness which cause involuntary and negative bio-physical responses which, in turn, inhibit rational thought and productivity. From then on, even the thought that a leader MIGHT be displeased will trigger that response in him or her ... there goes productivity, job satisfaction and workplace morale.

Why can`t employees just get over their response and understand that's just the way I'm wired?

Because they are HUMAN!

Humans ... MOST humans ... do not enjoy pain and that trigger response is their brain telling them to duck and cover 'cause pain is headed their way!


Employees surveyed said a credible employer must be these key things:

• Honest
• Competent
• Forward Looking
• Inspiring

These words could be said of the oak ... not so much the squash or potato

You don`t lead staff? I would challenge that these are the qualities we look for in a spouse, a mentor, a trusted friend, a parent, and ourselves.

If we all aspire to be oakish leaders of ourselves (as opposed to squashy or potatoish), then the world will be full of credible people.

... and wouldn`t that just be incredible?


Are you ready to develop your Leadership skills?
I recommend Dr. Terry Anderson`s book Transforming Leadership. Author: Dr. Terry Anderson together with the Leadership Skills Inventory - Self (LSI-S)

How Did I Get Here?

If that title made you sing a Talking Heads song, you're as old as me.

The concepts suggested in the song's words "Letting the days go by ..." and "Same as it ever was ..." are tragically all too real for most of today's society. The character in the song wakes up in a world he's created and become trapped by while sleepwalking through life.

In careers, we see this happen when people follow convenience, jobs offered by well-meaning relatives or friends and a need for a paycheque. We see this in people setting goals that are not in line with their passions, strengths and purpose.

Where Do I Go From Here?

If you've been at that crossroad described above, you know you really have three choices:

1. Go back to your familiar sleepwalking;
2. Go to sleep somewhere else thinking the new environment will make a difference; or
3. Get out of bed, take a good look in the mirror and start working on a purposeful life!!!

#3 is exhausting, but well worth the journey and does not alienate those who have grown to love and depend on you. As entrepreneurs #3 is vital to your ultimate success or all you've grown will dissolve "... into the blue again after the money's gone ..."

A good start to this journey is "the mirror" - a clearer picture of who you are, your inherent strengths, how you show up day to day and your true core values. You can sift through feedback from those who know you, engage the help of a life coach or psychologist, or take a few self-directed assessments. I recommend the triple-threat:

1. Start with the assessments
2. Discuss your self-discovery with those closest to you and engage their feedback
3. Round it out with targeted life coaching

Two self-scoring self-interpreted assessments I highly recommend are:

The Online Personal Style Indicator (PSI) and the Online Values Preference Indicator (VPI)

Both hold the mirror up at different angles, and also teach you how to look at others in a whole new way! There are many life coaches available, each with a different background or focus. There are many ways to find a coach in your area. Talk to other professionals you respect and see if any of them have a coach they would recommend to you. There are coaches who work over the phone as well.

Life is a journey, not a destination. The day we stop growing and learning how to be the best possible version of ourselves is the day we stop inspiring others ... and the day we begin to stop mattering to anyone but ourselves. What a sad day that is.

Swimming Through Information

Someone mentions the word "Laminin" to you over the phone and you can instantly Google search it to see pictures, gain insightful and provocative information, gathering your sources to verify credibility. Excellent! Saves a trip to the library, calling all the friends you know in the scientific or medical field and gives you yet another piece of trivia that may be useful in a board game at some point.

Now try sitting at your computer to research "Entrepreneurial Growth Tips" ... Good luck with that! Every coach, trainer, publisher, reseller and anyone who has been paying attention to the "How to brand yourself" people ... myself included ... has a blog, website, article, etc that they have tried to optimize on the Internet, hoping people will randomly find them through all the other noise.

How do you swim through this sea of information to get to the pearls you need and can best use? How do you know what is credible and what is regurgitated, trendy fluff? It seems whoever yells the loudest attracts the most fish, but is that the right direction for you?

I am not a big name dropper. People ask me if I know some great name and I say "yes" but I usually know some deeper, negative side to their story of fame. Usually that's the information that sticks. If reputation is based on number of website hits, what THEY say about themselves, frequency of mentions and Googleability, those who are up on the latest tech-trends win.

I prefer a reputation built on what you've actually done, how you've impacted people, what those people know to be true about you.

I want people to say "Carol Carter is authentic, caring and creative. This is what she did for me ..." . I want to be known for how I help others using my inherent strengths and how I remain true to my top core values while honouring others. If I'm only known for the number of times people see my name, my reputation has no substance and can easily be destroyed.

So what is the answer for wading through the quagmire of sheer volume of information on the World Wide Web? Well ... what do you NEED to know? If you need to know how to be successful in a certain area, talk to someone who is doing it!! Network. Seek them out and ask them questions, including where to source the information they found that helped them and what reading they would recommend. Sure, take half an hour and browse the web for the latest buzz and trends, but then ASK someone in the know what they think of those trends and how valid they are. Examine them together and test their validity.

Whatever you do, when on the net, ask yourself every ten minutes "Is this the best use of my time right now?". Chances are you already know the answer.


Recommendations for the rest of the summer:

1) Make a list of questions you want answers to.
2) Do a small amount of prep research on the Internet, not only writing down potential answers, but also listing your sources.
3) Seek out successful professionals (more than one) and ask them for their valued opinions on your findings, as well as their answers to the same questions. You may just develop some very lucrative connections and/or mentors through this process!
4) Ask what books and articles the professionals recommend.
5) READ the recommended articles and books, touching base with the recommender during and upon completion of your reading.
6) USE the new found knowledge and advice!
6) Share your new found knowledge with people like you.

Enjoy! Learn! Grow! Reach out to grow others!

-Carol Carter-