Choose Your Enemies Wisely

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on. - Joseph Heller

We are all brought up to believe that we should be friends with everyone. If we have enemies, there must be something wrong with us. Guess what? We all have enemies, we just don't realize it.

One of the definitions of "enemy" is "Something harmful or deadly" - Mirriam-Webster Disctionary

Think for a moment about someone you have met who you quickly distrusted.

Get a very clear picture of that moment when your inner voice said "Careful! This person could hurt you! Proceed with caution. Avoid if possible. Smile and pretend nothing is wrong."

Remember?

That person was not your friend. You knew instinctively that person would bring you down if you got too close, eat up your time and energy and leave you with little or nothing to show. That person was NOT a wise investment for you.

• Recognize the enemy.
  
• Proceed with caution.
  
• Avoid if possible.
  
• Smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
  
• Carry on being who you are and doing what you do best.

Now, if you are like me, you often ignore your inner voice. After all, you would not want anyone to judge you this way without giving you a chance to prove yourself. Here's where most people stall, losing time, energy and ... well, let's face reality ... money.

Recognize that any effort you have already spent on these people is now a "sunk cost".

Whether in business, career, friendship or especially a romantic relationship, it is difficult to face the fact that our efforts have been wasted and the longer we invest our energy into this person, the more of ourselves we will waste. While it may seem cold, successful people master the ability to recognize "sunk costs" quickly and let them go.

If you want everyone to like you, this is a very difficult thing to do. Here's a different perspective I have discovered that works for me:

1. You have your own unique set of VALUES. To be authentic and give your greatest strengths to the world, you must remain true and honour your values in everything you do.
2. If someone distracts you from your true Vision and Mission in life, it is up to YOU to get yourself back on track.
3. If this person shows ANY jealousy or negativity toward your Values, Vision or Mission, this person is an enemy to your future growth, your current productivity and your life's purpose. You owe it to yourself, and all those you can help, to distance yourself from that person, write off the "sunk costs" and move ahead with purpose.
   

You don't know your specific Values? You have not yet created a Vision and a Mission for yourself? This is like heading across the country for a road trip without a map. You may have some great adventures, but:

• you will be distracted by every road sign you see,
  
• you will take longer to make decisions,
  
• you will have more regrets and waste in your life.

If you are tired of being tossed around in life and want to be as effective as possible, take the Values Preference Indicator.

1. Know your top core values and find way to honour them in your life.
   
2. Understand what you de-value (lowest on your list), gauge your reactions to these values and understand that is the same reaction you have to those who place those values at the top of their own list.
   
3. Recognize that there will be people in this life who will not help you but will hinder your growth and direction.

• Recognize the enemy.
  
• Proceed with caution.
  
• Avoid if possible.
  
• Smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
  
• Carry on being who you are and doing what you do best.

You owe it to you!

What Truly Motivates Employees? (It's not what you think!)

I've always wondered why simple monetary incentives only seemed to work on the lucky few, but demotivated so many more.

I've actually seen sales contests within organizations completely alienate individuals. These are SALES people! They are SUPPOSED to be driven by cash rewards, yet the whole idea of dialing for dollars in a day to win the cash prize left them hating their jobs, their colleagues and their lives.

Here's a brilliant video that finally reveals the shocking truth. My question is, if they had these studies and professionals worldwide found the same results, why wasn't this information made headline news?

• Why are we still operating on archaic reward principles?

• Why are we STILL not allowing our innovators - our staff - come up with ways of making the company better for our clients and colleagues and put these ideas into action?
• Why are we still holding their noses to methods and principles that do not motivate them and expecting them to produce the same results in a completely different economy?

Enjoy this thought provoking video!

If you weren't doing what you're doing, what would you be doing?

Every time I hear the above question, I can actually feel my brain short circuit.

Thoughts rush in, waving madly, yelling "Pick me! Pick me!"

I envy the people who can answer this question clearly, directly and in detail. To those people I want to say That sounds fantastic! What are you waiting for???

Then I have to step back and check myself.

The running theme of all my dreams involves influencing people to move in positive directions. That sounds fantastic. What am I waiting for???

We all face the same dilemma, whether our dreams are clearly defined or not:

Let go of what we know to pursue a dream or ideal life for ourselves

= free-fall from a suspension bridge and hope for a safe landing on better ground ...

possible, but so are a number of other less happy endings.

"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." - Earl of Beaconsfield

A clearly defined goal that fits our values, personal style and strengths can help us automatically make thousands of tiny decisions minute-by-minute, day-by day that bring our reality closer to our dreams. Some call this the law of attraction. I call it a healthy, fully functioning brain.

After a while, that feared free-fall into the unknown becomes a purposeful and well prepared parachute to a visible paradise.

Ask yourself these 7 questions:

1. What are your Core Values?
2. What is your true preferred Personal Style?
3. What are your strengths you want to use on a daily basis?
4. What skills do you want to acquire to compliment the strengths you prefer to use?
5. What are all the things you would want to do if you weren't doing what you're doing?
6. Working backwards from where you want to be to where you are, what action steps, information and resources are needed to do what you really want to do?
7. What are you willing and able to act on right NOW? If not now, WHEN?

Companies make Mission and Vision statements. Create your own Vision and Mission statements honouring your true Core Values, Style and Strengths. Be the CEO of your life. Create clarity and direction. Work ON your life, rather than IN it.

Most of all, enjoy the ride and make true friends and lasting contributions along the way!

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Loyalty? What Loyalty?

“Leadership is a two-way street, loyalty up and loyalty down. Respect for one's superiors; care for one's crew.” -Grace Murray Hopper

In my day-to-day work I talk to people on all rungs of the corporate (and not-so-corporate) ladder. I hear the same complaints and issues again and again ... "There's no loyalty."

BIG red flag!

Employees say their company leadership...

• has self-servingly mismanaged resources,
• is out of touch with what the staff is going through and
  
• now expects the "grunt workers" who are "lucky to have a job" to pick up the slack and perform at close to unachievable levels for little or no reward.
  

These employees are

• burned out,
  
• distrustful,
• constantly worried about their future and
  
• see no relief in the near future.
  

While they were able and willing to do what was necessary a year ago, their patience and faith is wearing thin. I hear them say "As soon as this economy turns around I may not be here anymore... So if you hear of any jobs out there for me, let me know!"

Employers say they've stretched to retain employees through tougher times and now expect a return on their investment:

• higher output,
• more dedication,
• team effort.
  

They need to remain viable in order to retain much needed clients ... to be able to retain much needed staff. While they were able and willing to keep motivating staff a year ago, their ideas and direction are flat-lining. I hear them say "We hope this economy turns around soon. We'll see what happens... or I may be coming to you for job!"

The end result looming just around the next economic corner - Utter Chaos!

In struggling companies, you have 4 generations of workers processing in 4 different ways and NONE of these look sustainable:

• The Golden Generation: "I'll cut my hours down. That's my contribution. I just need to keep my benefits the same and make sure I get my pension."
  

• The Baby Boomers: "I'll stay with these yahoos long enough to rebuild my portfolio and I'm gone ... and I'm taking everything I know with me!"

• The Gen Xers: "I'll gather all the knowledge and experience I've gained, lay it out on the table and, if I don't get the position and compensation I deserve, I'll go someplace that has better leadership."

• The Gen Y's: "I can get a better job anywhere that's easier, gives me training, career opportunities, flexibility and respect. If they don't appreciate me, I'll move back with mom and dad."

Yes, these are generalizations, but there's a running theme through each - lack of trust, self-centeredness and NO LOYALTY.

Now, there ARE companies who will weather this next turn of events well.

These are the companies who have

• established a vision, mission and values,
  
• gained "buy in" on all these among staff,
  
• created a culture of active vision, honesty and integrity, and
  
• remained TRUE to the course they have established.

Yes, we all have to take detours, but the detours these companies have taken have these characteristics:

• kept the vital core ideals intact,
  
• been communicated openly with the full team and
  
• rewarded loyalty with much more than "You're lucky to still have a job to come to."

These companies have realized that their greatest competetive advantage is innovation and service. That innovation and service comes from their employees. They have worked hard to create an environment that is sustainable now and in the future through:

• careful hiring,
  
• full accountability of both staff and management (fair and proactive performance reviews, organization surveys and 360's)
  
• open communication in BOTH directions
  
• S.M.A.R.T. goals for each team member
  
• steadfast vision
• regular rewards for feedback, ideas and achievements
• elimination of problem people (including back stabbers and brown nosers)
• alignment with good customers who have similar values

So ... before the economy takes any more turns, carefully review your team. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What will happen if any of these team members leave tomorrow?
2. What will it take to make each team member feel appreciated, needed and vital to the team?
3. What makes these people tick? Who are they and what truly motivates their life decisions?
4. How can I re-align our team with the vision and mission of the company going forward or does that vision and mission need to be refreshed to clearly reflect a better, more sustainable direction this team can buy into?

Just remember ...

“Low morale plus low loyalty equals high turnover. That can hobble a company.” -Karen Carlisle

Rebuilding Personal Credibility

If you have made mistakes, even serious ones,
there is always another chance for you.
What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down.

Mary Pickford

Have you ever had a moment that you wish you could take back and do over?

You know the one. It makes your stomach turn and palms sweat every time you think of it. It cost you credibility in the eyes of others—even in your own eyes.

I have great news!

No, I can't show you how to rewind time, but I do know that every passing minute is another opportunity to turn it all around.

Rarely is credibility lost forever. What counts is

• strong character;
• honesty; and
• taking ownership and moving things in a positive direction.

I have met people who would rather walk away from a difficult situation and start over somewhere else rather than

• accept responsibility for what happened,
• address the key issues, and
• rectify the wrong.

They are missing an enormous opportunity.

No one is perfect. We are all human. Everyone can make a mistake, say the wrong thing, miss a deadline, or forget an important detail. It's what we do AFTER the error that truly defines our character.

Recognizing and admitting to your mistake, then determining what can be done to correct the unhappy result, will demonstrate your true leadership and intent.

If the offended parties are still willing to talk to you, there is your golden opportunity. You can show you really are a problem-solver and person of substance and integrity.

This next step is not for the faint-hearted. In fact, this subject has likely made you very uncomfortable. If it hasn't, then you are perfect and obviously not from the same planet as the rest of us. There's much to lose by not restoring your credibility and much more to be gained by attempting to do so.

Next time you find yourself reliving a gut-wrenching moment you wish you could erase,

• pick up the phone,
• drop by with a gift or card to talk in person, or
• make a personal connection to reopen the lines of communication and ask for the chance to change the outcome.

The worst that can happen is that you are refused. You still will have won back some credibility with others and with yourself by showing the desire to make things right.

Points to Ponder This Month

• Is there a recurring area in your life that constantly costs you credibility? What can be done to change it?
• What has leaving a credibility issue unresolved cost you in business or in your personal life?
• If someone who has lost credibility in your eyes came to you genuinely ready, willing, and able to change things, would you refuse that person the opportunity to try?

If you are in a leadership position, also see http://jazzypromotions.blogspot.com/2008/12/becoming-oak-among-squash.html .

What's Your 90-Day Plan?

• Are you twisting in the wind?
• Are you reacting instead of acting with intention and purpose?
• Do you sit, exhausted and confused, at the end of your day, wondering what this all means and when it’s going to end?

If you don’t relate to those images, chances are you know someone who does.

It’s hard to plan ahead right now. The world is changing moment to moment. (View this clip“Did You Know?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY) The floor has fallen out from under many of the approaches that have always worked. Even some companies and individuals who have money are cutting back on their spending, postponing plans, and taking a “wait and see” approach to buying items that are already in their budget.

Now is your perfect opportunity!

I know what you’re thinking—"Carol’s on glue!"

Stay with me here.

We are living in a world of No and Not Right Now. Many clients and prospects are stressed and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d, doing more for less and completely unsure of the future. They say they don’t want to talk right now.

If you leave your clients and prospects alone at this time,
you are making a HUGE mistake!

Your clients actually DO want to talk to you.
They do NOT want to be SOLD and they do NOT want to WASTE your time or their own.

This is a gigantic opportunity to build lasting mutual trust that will pay off for you and your clients in future—and with their referrals, too!

With whom do YOU want to do business?
• People you know, like, and trust.

How do you feel about people who do things like:
• Drop off a card or note of encouragement to you?
• Take a few moments to say “Hi”—personally or by phone or email?
• Clip and email an article or something that is relevant to you and your clients?
• Connect someone to you who can help you or your business?
• Invest a bit of their precious time to let you know they care about YOU—not just the money you spend with them?

Right now, with every other corporation, business, and individual scrambling to focus on sales and marketing to the people who are still spending, you need to create your 90-day Action Plan to:
• retain the clients you already have;
• ensure your prospects stay interested in you for the future;
• establish great word-of-mouth referrals; and
• DIFFERENTIATE YOURSELF FROM THE COMPETITION!

You can set yourself apart—as a person or a company that truly cares and is willing to take the time to get to know your clients and prospects.

What happens when you are perceived to be different from everyone else out there?

Price becomes an afterthought.

Clients may try to bring down your price, but they’ll connect with you and be willing to consider your reasons for not dropping your price.

“But I need some contracts and sales RIGHT NOW!” you say.

Okay.

These steps will help you build current AND future business within the next 90 days.

Step 1: Always ask your clients and future clients to refer you to people who need what you have to offer. If you are genuine and your clients and future clients like you and trust you, they will LOVE to recommend your services to someone who can help you succeed. Why? It’s a very nice thing to do and it will lighten their load of nonpurchasers’ guilt.

Step 2: Do a fantastic job of following up with those leads. Make the people who recommended you look like heroes! You will be the first person they call when they are in a position to use what you have to offer!

Remember Carol's Three Customer Building Commandments.

1. Woo thy prospect constantly and genuinely.
2. Love thy customer as thyself.
3. Ask for referrals and ye shall receive.

What’s in your Action Plan for the next 90 days?

Teach a Man To Fish

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for life."

- Chinese Proverb

I’m a huge fan of the “Pay It Forward” concept. Yes, I have been called a Pollyanna—my results on the Personal Style Indicator back that up—but I don’t believe I have my head in the sand. No matter who we are, how we’re wired, or what we do for a living, each of us in our own way can effect real change in the world.

How can one person change the world?

It’s simple.

You can’t change people, but you CAN empower them to improve their own lives, and equip them to reach out and help others.

Just a simple shift in perception and approach can

• make a huge difference in a relationship,
• affect an entire team,
  
• influence the culture of an organization,
  
• make an impact on a community,
  
• awaken a nation, and
  
• help spread change throughout the world.

You don’t believe me?

Believe history.

Throughout the ages, people on purpose did not take the easy road. Dogged and determined, they faithfully pursued what they believed to be important—not just for them, but for humankind.

Can you imagine our world today if . . .

• a group of Quakers in Delaware had kept their slaves to remain more profitable and had not signed a petition against slavery in 1786?
• Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith went back to drinking and never started a word-of-mouth support group for recovering Alcoholics in 1935?
• the Wright Brothers decided flight was impossible, went ahead with other inventions, and never created the three-axis control still used in flying machines today?
• everyone with means during The Great Depression looked after his or her own situation and no one stepped up to create the first soup kitchen?
• Alexander Fleming, like others before him, did not persist with his quest to discover penicillin or spend 12 years seeking a chemist to make a stable form for mass production?
• Mother Teresa opted for a secure, “normal” life for herself?
• Martin Luther prudently put his career first and did not challenge the policies of the Holy Roman Empire?
• you did not choose to help people make positive change in their lives?

The truth is all change starts with one person willing to act on an idea.

Lasting change happens when that action strikes a chord with people who are ready and willing to get involved. Mentoring starts, methods spark to life, word-of-mouth spreads, people are inspired, and the course of history is changed.

Never underestimate the ripple effect of your perceptions and actions. You may not discover a medical cure, start a reformation, invent a new method of transportation, or save countless people from starvation, but you may help change a life that helps change other lives that help change more lives.

Points to Ponder This Month
• What have you learned in life that has changed the way you perceive and treat people?
• How has the way you treat people affected your perception of yourself?
• What 3 things can you can do this month to “Teach a man to fish” or help others help themselves?