The Rules Just Changed . . . Forever

Searching for direction and answers?

You are not alone.

There's a big trend toward "What does it all mean?" and never before have so many "experts" claimed to be able to help you . . . for a fee.

Have you noticed them?

Some are parrots, regurgitating (plagiarizing) something they read in another blog, on another Website or from an obscure book written ten years ago no one bothered to read . . . or worse yet, from a book just released that was poorly researched and based on what might have worked two years ago.

Others have jumped on a trendy wave of twitter/facebook/linkedIn . . . it all sounds good and if applied the right way can be very powerful, but they are asking for your money, claiming to be "experts" who will show you the right way. It's hard to know just who to trust and buy into.

Still others are loudly proclaiming the "same old same old" from twenty years ago, broadcasting their lengthy experience in the field and hooking a segment of baby boomers who want to believe there's no need to change.

I'm here to tell you,
the rules HAVE changed . . . forever!

In fact, they changed many years ago, but business was great, people were buying, everyone was too busy to notice.

The change has been gradual but never hidden and it's called . . .
women.

Before you click away from my blog, I assure you I love men dearly. I wish I had their ability to focus on one thing at a time and move in for the kill. I wish I clicked with the "Take no prisoners" attitude. But I don't. I never have.

Neither have the other women who are now making 85% of the buying decisions in North America.

Yes, you heard me right. 85%!

How did that happen?

Well, there's no one single factor. There's several:

• The single income family is a dream long gone. More women than ever before in North American history have to work. Notice I say "family". I'm implying kids in that mix. Kids need daycare. Women either work in high-level positions that pay very well, work shifts opposite their spouses or create work arrangements or businesses that fit their life. In all these situations, women no longer need to consult the other bread winner on key buying decisions. They feel quite entitled and qualified to call the shots.

• Divorce is now normal. When I went to school, it was rare to find a child in a one-parent family. When my kids went to school, it was rare to find a kid in a two parent family, especially one that contained his or her original parents. Sad, but true. Women have had to shoulder a lot of responsibility and make all decisions . . . and juggle raising a child alone with making enough money.

• Fewer women bother to marry at all. Many of us just keep working. We waited for the right relationship and it never quite happened . . . or we were just too busy to look for it.
  

With women making:

• the majority of business starts in North America
• the majority of family buying decisions
• the majority of buying recommendations and decisions within businesses
• all their own buying decisions in their divorced or never-wed lives

women have become THE target market.

Who has most of sales copy been geared toward for the past 80 years?

MEN!

• Picture the last car commercials you've seen.
• Think of the last fax you received for some great speaker guru coming to town.
• Consider the realty ads that appeal to you and those that don't.

I've recently hooked into Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero's "She-Factor Copywriting Bootcamp". She latched onto this concept a few years ago when she rightly realized that the sales copy she was writing was repelling women and yet, most of the decision makers she knew were women.

The light bulb flashed to life and her research began.

Even ME, as a woman in sales and marketing, have been afraid to "exclude" men by writing toward ... well, myself! Lorrie's research showed that
female oriented sales copy still works on men!

Who knew?

So, by marketing toward men, you lose your woman audience
BUT
By writing to women, you gain the attention of 85% of buyers, PLUS you don't lose your men.

It doesn't take any marketing guru or trend expert to tell you what you need to do here:

• We know that people will buy from those they know, like and trust.
• Look at your website and all your marketing. Does it build trust with women?
• What can you do to speak directly to the concerns of the women in your target market?
• What benefits will women gain from using your product or service . . . that women truly care about?

If you do a lot of sales writing and want targeted tips, I highly recommend Lorrie's help.

Simply looking for help on a specific project? I'm happy to give you a hand. Leave a comment on this blog and I will respond ASAP.

When you finally know what you really want, you want it to start RIGHT NOW!

They say:

• Patience is a virtue ...
• Haste makes waste ...
• Good things come to those who wait ... blah, blah, blah!
  

Have you ever finally figured out exactly what it is you wanted?

It may have been as trivial as a pair of shoes, skis or golf clubs. It may have been more life altering, such as the perfect car, house with the ideal kitchen ... and walk-in closet, ideal job opportunity or your soul mate ... Whatever it was for you, picture yourself in the exact moment when you KNEW it was right ...

Are you there?

Good.

THAT is the moment where YOUR passions, knowledge, abilities and strengths collided. Did anyone need to motivate you to go after what you truly wanted?

You have just discovered the true secret to motivating others.

Now RARELY are your staff going to be THAT passionate about the work you ask them to do. But if you can get them to reveal their Core Values, Strengths and Interests to you ... and to themselves ... you are on the road to finding out how to retain employee loyalty both to your company AND to your bottom line.

What is good for your employees is also good for YOU! If you are that passionate and motivated about your business every morning when you wake up, you will set the world on fire!

Okay, maybe not the world, but you will light up your clients and draw to you people who truly need or want what you have to offer!

Don't believe in the power of attraction?

Your thoughts manifest themselves in your attitude toward everything you do. Put it this way: Who would you rather have build your deck - someone who looks as though he'd rather be in his 5 o'clock world or someone who LOVES thinking about, designing and building beautiful, functional, stable and affordable decks?

My suggestion is not to find ways to hype the company and rally your staff, but to discover ways to link TRUE passions to the work.

For instance, a sanitation engineer may not be enthusiastic about garbage, but may love being paid to work out, the thrill of jumping on and off a moving truck, being outdoors rather than in a stuffy office, throwing things and early mornings. Encourage and respect those key elements and you can continue to motivate your sanitation crew through the stickiest festering summer routes! You will also attract potential hires who value the same things as your workers spread positive word-of-mouth about their workplace!

As people become more connected to their position and feel the support from their employer, they will step into a leadership mentality about their role within the organization. It is VITAL to encourage this step. Imagine a company full of employees who "OWN" their positions and their credibility as part of the team!


Use these two assessments for Self-Development and/or for teambuilding!!




Online Personal Style Indicator (PSI) helps you understand your own strengths and preferences and recognize the strengths of others, communicate more effectively with those who are inherently different and work more efficiently to build on each others' strengths for common goals!

The Online Values Preference Indicator (VPI) helps you identify your true top (and bottom) Core Values, learn the related fears and needs that filter all your perceptions and drive all your decisions and discover how to better honour your Core Values and the values of those around you!

Becoming an Oak Among Squash

A leadership professor once asked his students: “Which would you rather be: a squash or an oak?”

The question confused students. They didn’t understand the connection to leadership.

“A squash,” he explained, “grows quickly from a seed, weathers the summer, but dies in inclement winter weather because it has no root system. An oak, on the other hand, withstands every storm and all weather patterns because of its root system. It is deeply embedded in the earth.”


So many comparisons leap into my mind:

• get rich quick (squash) vs. follow a plan that matches your strengths and passions (oak)
• brown nose (squash) vs. maintaining credibility and honesty in all your dealings (oak)
• push others down to boost self up (squash) vs. boosting others up and growing to new heights (oak)
• slap it together and get it done (squash) vs. do it well and let your name stand behind it (oak)
• look busy (squash) vs. do all you can do to the best of your ability all the time (oak)

I`m sure you can think of a few yourself ...


When it comes to leadership I get a definite picture of these two plants:

Squash:
You know that leader who offers no plan, no vision, no direction, expects people to just get to work. So staff go ahead with life and create ideas or needed initiatives but, because they are not the leader of other departments, there is no togetherness or overall plan across the company. They begin to have petty arguments, disrespect and distrust.

It gets worse. Typically the leader swoops in and micromanages from above after the work is done ... or worse, does the brush off of "I just would have expected you to do that. It's part of your job." Ooooh the frustration of the person trying to do the work (or the guess-work)!!

Oak:
This is the leader who aligns staff with their strengths and purpose, gives them an overall plan, budget, vision, mission and benchmarks that are reasonable, especially in challenging conditions and then empowers staff to fulfill their purpose, continuing to facilitate positive and frequent communication, flow of ideas, encouragement for effort and guidance mid-stream where guidance is needed.

Here's one I would add which you might recognize ...

Potato:
The leader who has a solitary plan which few others know. All ideas only sprout from that individual and no communication is requested or given. Staff are just expected to deal with the sprouts, wherever they pop up. In fact, no sprout may appear and staff are not to question or speculate about what's happening.

That leader is immovable, inaccessible and ... well ... no fun! I have a theory that he/she does not share the plan because he/she doesn't want to be committed to it and then have to say "I was wrong." (So far it's a theory because these people will NEVER tell me!)


Being a leader in your business, organization, family, etc. requires:

• incredible communication skills,
• solid mentoring or counseling ability,
• unwavering self-management,
• well developed problem-management skills,
• ability to consult others and to suspend inherent behaviours that are causing communication or trust issues ... which goes back to self-management.

If it sounds super-human, it is!
Are you up for it?

Being a leader is no different from being a sales person. You are selling your staff on your ability to lead the company and ensure their future daily.

Who do people buy from?

• Those the KNOW, LIKE and TRUST

What breaks down trust besides outright lies?

• Ambiguity (vagueness, uncertainty, haziness)

Ambiguity leaves too much to the discretion of the one being lead. That person can either do nothing and be squawked at, or do something and be micromanaged ... and squawked at.

That squawking has it`s own hazzards ...

"... out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." - Matthew 12:34B, the Bible

What you say and do can and WILL be held against you. Your communication - verbal AND non-verbal shows your staff where your head is at ... and they are always watching...

Negative squawking or the cold brush off and avoidance will create uncertainty, self-doubt, anxiety, anger and bitterness which cause involuntary and negative bio-physical responses which, in turn, inhibit rational thought and productivity. From then on, even the thought that a leader MIGHT be displeased will trigger that response in him or her ... there goes productivity, job satisfaction and workplace morale.

Why can`t employees just get over their response and understand that's just the way I'm wired?

Because they are HUMAN!

Humans ... MOST humans ... do not enjoy pain and that trigger response is their brain telling them to duck and cover 'cause pain is headed their way!


Employees surveyed said a credible employer must be these key things:

• Honest
• Competent
• Forward Looking
• Inspiring

These words could be said of the oak ... not so much the squash or potato

You don`t lead staff? I would challenge that these are the qualities we look for in a spouse, a mentor, a trusted friend, a parent, and ourselves.

If we all aspire to be oakish leaders of ourselves (as opposed to squashy or potatoish), then the world will be full of credible people.

... and wouldn`t that just be incredible?


Are you ready to develop your Leadership skills?
I recommend Dr. Terry Anderson`s book Transforming Leadership. Author: Dr. Terry Anderson together with the Leadership Skills Inventory - Self (LSI-S)

Blogging With Credibility

Stop the NOISE!

So many people have opinions they want to voice when crisis strikes close to home, at election time and ... well ... when everyone else is voicing their opinions.

Let's think about this for a moment.

• Say you openly share your personal political views with a potential client you've been wooing for months. Say your favourite party wins and then makes a mess of the system ... in the eyes of that potential client, who asks himself "What idiots voted this government in anyway?" ... and remembers you ... as the idiot? Or ... your party does NOT get in power and the party who does makes wise and prudent decisions and gains popularity ... and you change your opinion ... Unless you make a living from your political opinions, keep politics out of your personal brand!

• In times of personal crisis are you a completely rational person? Or later, when someone calls you on a bad decision you made, do you say "I was going through a crisis at the time."?People can build a solid reputation over a lifetime and completely destroy their credibility with half their audience in a paragraph.

King Solomon, the wisest king in history, left us these words:

• "A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness" Pr 12:23 and

• "He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." Pr 17:27-28

In a time when so many people have so many things to say, it's hard to hear what's right. Here's what we do know:

• The sun will rise tomorrow.
• This too shall pass.
• People's words - written and spoken - are permanent. They will either be judged as fools or considered right.
• Those who do not panic and offer advice and opinions but forge ahead, keeping their lives and businesses credible and useful will be recognized, respected and trusted.

Please, if you have opinions you are compelled to share:

1. Look at your vision and mission statements.
2. Review your values.
3. Make sure that everything you say reflects these things.
   

• If it doesn't it is not in the best interests of you or your organization to express these opinions.
• If it will not help to better establish your brand and there's a possibility of hurting your brand, don't do it.

Write your opinions in a journal which you can publish years from now ... if it turns out your opinions proved correct. In the meantime, stay grounded, stay on purpose, know yourself and be your brand.

Getting Organized (a.k.a. Becoming an "ORG NINJA"!)

I am a fan of organized people. They amaze and confound me. They make being organized look so effortless and logical, yet my reality is just so not that.

I know I'm not alone.

Because of people like me, there's a whole "organizing" industry. There's even a professional non-profit association of organizers in Canada where you can actually find someone to help you get organized! I kid you not! Go to www.organizersincanada.com for more information.

I HAVE been very organized ... at different times ... in one or two areas of life ... while everything else fell apart.

Organizing is actually my favourite avoidance technique. I give the illusion of being very busy and productive, while preventing myself from tackling something extremely important and difficult. I've come to terms with this habit. When the energy is there I go with it. At least I'm getting my most non-favourite task of filing out of the way.

When I get going, I'm very good at filing. So why can't I STAY organized?

Well, in a nutshell, some of my top core values are Variety, Creativity and Challenge, while Organization is third from the bottom. In my Personal Style Indicator, I am very people oriented, as opposed to task oriented. I really gather no joy or fulfillment from filing every piece of paper that travels my way.

I am not that way wired.

Are there benefits for people who ARE wired that way? ABSOLUTELY!

• They don't break into a sweat at the word "Taxes".
  
• They save great amounts of money from rebates and coupons that have not expired.
  
• They will never panic when I call them to ask if I can pop in and see them in ten minutes as I'm in their neighbourhood (people dropping into MY neighbourhood will have to meet me at the Starbucks or Tim Horton's down the street).

As we all know, our Personal Style and Core Values are not EXCUSES for our behaviour, so to prevent myself from being completely inept I have developed some survival systems ... which I of course change from time to time, fulfilling my value of Variety ... and telling myself THIS one will work!

If you're organizationally challenged like me I recommend you create a system that YOU WILL USE!!! There are terrific people out there with amazing systems I could never in a million years put into practice. The best paperwork system I've found yet for me is a set of four file folders that travel everywhere with me ... YES, ONLY FOUR!!!

1. Inbox - these are the things you need to act on within the current quarter.
2. Outbox - these are the things you need to redistribute, take somewhere else or discuss with other people
   
3. Expenses - This is a huge one for me! All your receipts go here to be filed into a tax file at home or written on an expense form at work, held for 30 days in case you need to return something, etc.
4. Future Ideas - all the pieces of paper, magazine articles, brainstorms, etc that I am not going to act on immediately go here to be reviewed quarterly and prioritized

Duplicate this set up as baskets on your desk at work (or files in your drawer) and trays on your office wall at home.

This system has freed my mind from the constant nagging worry of misplacing or burying a paper of high importance. My ever treasured mound of amazing ideas now has it's own folder, which I can pull out and peruse whenever I need a creative break.

Like it?

No, I can't claim responsibility for this idea. I recently had the opportunity to hear Krista Green, TV Show Host, author and speaker, in person. Her relatable, practical advice in her "Travel Light, Fly Faster" presentation will revolutionize the way I approach my briefcase, office and even my purse (love that "Butler Bag")!

For more information about Krista see www.organizedforlife.ca.

If your focus and productivity is impeded by the pile of paperwork in your office, do yourself a favour:

1. Schedule time in your daytimer or electronic calendar that is UNMOVABLE and call it ORG NINJA TIME or something that makes you look forward to that event.
2. DO NOT answer your phone or door during this time. You are booked! It is a meeting! It is important!
3. Start with Krista's simple system, but use boxes the first time. Add an additional box called Reference Material. That will include all things you can file and may or may not have to look at in future. DO NOT GET DISTRACTED! If you find a paper you need to act on, put it in your "INBOX" to deal with AFTER your ORG NINJA TIME.
   
4. Clear your work area and backlog of paperwork once and for all into workable sections that are within reach, but not front and center (close drawer or accordion file).
5. Place all Reference Material in a less accessible location - a further away file cabinet or bankers box in storage room.
   
6. Clear your briefcase and any other stashes or piles of "To-Do's" so all your priority work is in one place.
7. When you leave each location, take your "OUTBOX" items with you. When you arrive, go through your OUTBOX folder in your briefcase to see what needs to be left in the new location.
   
8. Schedule time each day to file all rogue paper into your system (to be done, to go somewhere or be filed, expenses, ideas for the future). Remember: A system you actually use is a system that actually works. The more you use it, the more systematic it will become and the more it will work for you!

Most of all, make it fun! Be a happy but ruthless ORG NINJA!!!

When Running on Empty

I'm waiting (and praying) for this latest fuel assault on my bank account to subside. Never in my life have I seen so many bitter and angry truck, SUV and V6+ drivers. Road rage is taking an interesting twist and "drafting" behind other vehicles is a new daily sport.

I personally never fill my tank to full anymore, hoping beyond hope I will see some honest gas station that is not gauging the desperate fuel consumers. It creates a bit of daily anxiety ... especially when my fuel light flickers on and I hear that ominous "ding".

This is no different from life in general. When we're stretched to the limit, "running on empty" and forced to make unwanted choices that consume our valuable resources, we become bitter and angry. Unfortunately all others see is your bitterness and anger ... which do not attract, if you follow any of the trendy "Law of Attraction" blurbs. These definitely repel people and leave you little energy to focus on all things plentiful, proactive and positive.

So how do we avoid finding ourselves in this mode?

It IS avoidable. There are some people you can count on to always be consistent, professional and pleasant. How do they do it?

Investment.

There's a prickly word in today's economic climate, but let's face it, if we had fuel tanks in our backyards and invested in additional fuel when prices were low, we'd be laughing instead of crying (which is what the fuel companies are doing).

No, of course we're not going to install fuel tanks in our backyards ... but what about our own business and personal resource tanks? If this present climate is as good as it gets, what should you stock up on to weather an upcoming storm? What resources are most important to you?

• public relations?
• goodwill?
• talented staff?
• personal friendships?
• time with family?
• paperclips?

It's no different from the saying "Make hay while the sun shines" or the story of the ant who stored up for the winter and the grasshopper who sang away the summer.

Invest NOW in the resources that are important to you! Go extra miles while you can. Ensure you have plenty ALWAYS. Stock up on the things that truly matter and you will have plenty of resources available to draw from through the tough stretches.

The key is to know what truly matters to you. Just like last week, I recommend two vital resources to get you started:

Online Personal Style Indicator (PSI) and the Online Values Preference Indicator (VPI)

These will show you your inherent strengths and your true core values you need to honour and utilize in whatever direction you take.

Happy investing!
May your dividends and ROI be abundant!

How Did I Get Here?

If that title made you sing a Talking Heads song, you're as old as me.

The concepts suggested in the song's words "Letting the days go by ..." and "Same as it ever was ..." are tragically all too real for most of today's society. The character in the song wakes up in a world he's created and become trapped by while sleepwalking through life.

In careers, we see this happen when people follow convenience, jobs offered by well-meaning relatives or friends and a need for a paycheque. We see this in people setting goals that are not in line with their passions, strengths and purpose.

Where Do I Go From Here?

If you've been at that crossroad described above, you know you really have three choices:

1. Go back to your familiar sleepwalking;
2. Go to sleep somewhere else thinking the new environment will make a difference; or
3. Get out of bed, take a good look in the mirror and start working on a purposeful life!!!

#3 is exhausting, but well worth the journey and does not alienate those who have grown to love and depend on you. As entrepreneurs #3 is vital to your ultimate success or all you've grown will dissolve "... into the blue again after the money's gone ..."

A good start to this journey is "the mirror" - a clearer picture of who you are, your inherent strengths, how you show up day to day and your true core values. You can sift through feedback from those who know you, engage the help of a life coach or psychologist, or take a few self-directed assessments. I recommend the triple-threat:

1. Start with the assessments
2. Discuss your self-discovery with those closest to you and engage their feedback
3. Round it out with targeted life coaching

Two self-scoring self-interpreted assessments I highly recommend are:

The Online Personal Style Indicator (PSI) and the Online Values Preference Indicator (VPI)

Both hold the mirror up at different angles, and also teach you how to look at others in a whole new way! There are many life coaches available, each with a different background or focus. There are many ways to find a coach in your area. Talk to other professionals you respect and see if any of them have a coach they would recommend to you. There are coaches who work over the phone as well.

Life is a journey, not a destination. The day we stop growing and learning how to be the best possible version of ourselves is the day we stop inspiring others ... and the day we begin to stop mattering to anyone but ourselves. What a sad day that is.